"What the hell are you standing around for?" he demanded at the nearest monks.

"But-- Lord Sanzo--"

"Take their bags already! Do I have to issue a written decree for everything around here?"

"B-but they're-- They're youka--"

"You are referring to his highness the King Lord Kougaiji and his top advisor. Show some respect!" he roared at him, shaking like he was about to start kicking people.

"...That's different," Kougaiji murmured. He spoke up, "Um, hey, er, it's really all right--"

"You'll survive," Sanzo answered, waving a hand dismissively.

"But we don't want to impose--" But Kougaiji was already secretly feeling relieved getting some of those bags off his shoulders. And Sanzo, meanwhile, was starting to talk to someone about preparing guest rooms and oh hell there was no point arguing was there.

You just couldn't have a normal greeting with Sanzo. It had to be impossible.

"Have you had dinner?"

"Er."

"Fine, good. Hope you don't mind the regular; not too much variety for royalty, unfortunately."

"Um. That's. Fine."

"Tea fine to drink? No beer. Unless you've brought something."

"Oh, no, we were just on our way back from a trip and-- well, actually, I guess we do have that sake from Edo..."

"Kougaiji," Dokugakuji spoke up, "that stuff's a gift to your mother and Lirin."

"We have four," Kougaiji said with a shrug, readily slipping into the surreal numbness of the whole scene and prepared to just run with it before it went away. "They can do with one less. Besides, three's a nice number."

"...Oh, fine," his bodyguard said in defeat.

Kougaiji started into the trunk they'd brought with them, while apprentices skittered away in fright.

When he turned back, he promptly dropped the crate on his foot. Because Sanzo had turned with his back to them.

"...Holy HELL."

"What?" Sanzo said, looking over his shoulder.

Kougaiji pointed a shaking finger at the braid. "Y-You said you were going to grow it out, you didn't say--"

"Well?" the priest demanded, trying not to squirm with embarrassment. "What's wrong with it?"

"It-- Isn't that a lot of upkeep?"

"Oh, he doesn't mind," Goku said brightly, beside them. "It's a project."

"It's down to his waist!" Kougaiji cried.

Sanzo fumed, clearly going pink now. "Like you've any right to complain about hair. What'd you do to yours?"

"No, tell me. Are you keeping it in good condition? I'll bet you have split ends."

"He does," Goku confirmed.

"Good gods," Dokugakuji complained. "You're talking about hair."

Sanzo and Kougaiji both rounded on him at once. "AND?" they demanded.
 

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